every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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