Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
