Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize