So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
