where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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