Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
time to smoke my breakfast
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I AM VODKA MAN
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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