you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
