He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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