that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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