is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
