You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
