he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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