do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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