6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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