i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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