it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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