He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
