We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
