don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
