I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
