No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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