I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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