He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
