i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
