It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
