i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
