i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
