What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
