Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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