this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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