I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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