there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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