Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
