I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
