We won't sleep together?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize