New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
