yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
