All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize