Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
