So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The uberlube is also flammable
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
