I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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