babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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