Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
