I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
