How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
