I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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