she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
