i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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