Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
