instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
