remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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