I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
