using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
