I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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