Porn is love you can see.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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