I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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