no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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