things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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