I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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