i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
