i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
