Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
